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Serious Business NetworkingArticle Category : Others As they always say “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”Of course just knowing people doesn’t necessarily get you the job, or the promotion, or the contract you wanted, but it certainly can help; so long as people don’t think you are using them. It’s true that networking is extremely important, so finding new contacts is the key to your continuing success; you need to learn out about networking meetings or events in your area. Before you go to an event you should think about what you want to achieve. Who will be there? Decide who you would like to meet and what information you would like to take away. This will ensure that you remain focused and have a successful meeting. Use your Capsule Profile from the ‘Presentation Statements’ that we discussed in the self-marketing section of the website. http://www.your-career-change.com/personal-marketing.html You have about thirty seconds to get a person’s interest or you lose your chance. Planning this beforehand is absolutely essential. You need to sell yourself before you can ask for the information or contacts you want. Consider the impression you’re making and don’t repel people by your (bad) jokes or (bad) manners or the way you smell (tobacco, garlic or aftershave / perfume). It isn’t always easy to talk to people, but if you don’t at least try you may lose out on an opportunity. Keeping a positive attitude and keeping smiling will increase the positive results. People enjoy networking with interesting, purposeful individuals. Dress for Success (http://www.your-career-change.com/Dress-for-success.html) at a business networking meeting as you would if you were going to an interview or a meeting with your most important client. If you spend all your time with contacts you’ve already made, you limit the value of the event; so the majority of your time should be spent meeting new people. Networking meetings enable you to expand your contact list if you use your time well. Do your best to remember the new contacts’ names; we only tend to hear our own name when introductions are made so repeating their name will help you to remember it. And they like to hear their own names. Furthermore people will be most impressed when you remember their name the next time that you meet. Only collect a lot of business cards if you have good reason for each one and they allow you a follow-up action. Make notes on the back so you know where they came from and what follow up you intend to take. Although it’s crucial to talk about yourself, you don’t want to spend all of your time explaining what you do. Find out what the other person does. People love to talk about themselves and it will give you time to understand them and how you may be able to help them. If you can help them, they will be more likely to help you. With over 25 years running businesses; as a Career Coach and Consultant in many sectors; Peter Fisher is well placed to guide job seekers through the steps needed in order to achieve that all important new position. He has personally coached thousands of individuals to career success. These years of experience are distilled into all the essential facts and actions you must complete in order to achieve your own success. He is very clear that you shouldn’t be misled into thinking of “acing interviews” or “finessing” your way into a business; the most sustainable and fulfilling roles are gained through understanding your own specific needs and creating your strategy accordingly. http://www.your-career-change.com/personal-marketing.html You can learn more about his dynamic and comprehensive approach to career change, with every page dedicated to helping serious career changers if you go to http://www.your-career-change.com/index.html
Article Category : Others, Resume Standards Advertisement - Learn insider strategies on how to be a top money making bartender PLUS how to get your hands on 3 exclusive FREE gifts! Many young adults flock to bars, lounges and clubs on a weekly basis. They spend hundreds sometimes thousands of dollars on entertaining themselves and their friends. When the night’s over and the lights go up, everyone starts to trickle out the front door a little more broke than they were when they entered. Everyone that is, except the bartenders who get to walk out a little richer than they were when they came in. Bartending as a career can be lucrative and extremely fun. Better yet the occupation fits well with many young adults lifestyles and allows them the freedom that regular nine to five jobs don’t.Many bartenders simply work 2 to 3 nights per week and make more than the average Canadian or American household. Often bartenders at busy night clubs can make upwards of $500 per shift, but the norm is closer to $200-$300. Regardless of which way you look at it, bartending is a rewarding job. A bartending job allows you to sculpt your own schedule to ensure you still have time for your hobbies, friends and family. Not many jobs offer this type of freedom while still offering great pay. So next time you show up to a bar on a weekend willing to spend a hundred dollars on overpriced cocktails, consider being on the other side of the bar? The wining side of the bar. Written by Nexgen Bartending School Nexgen Online Bartending School offers it’s students an opportunity to learn how to bartend from the comforts of their own home. Consider singing up for our program using the link below http://www.zizzoo.com/guides/bartending
Article Category : Others I’ve never worked for a boss I didn’t like or respect.?Sure, some were better than others, but I never considered quitting my job because of a bad boss.?Unfortunately, many employees aren’t so lucky.If your boss is a total butthead, someone you’ll never get along with, admire or respect no matter how hard you try, there are a few things you can do. Wait.?Is your boss close to retirement or promotion–or even better–termination??If so, try to bide your time and wait until that happy爀vent happens. Bite your tongue.?Keeping anger and frustration bottled up inside is not healthy, but neither is complaining about your boss at work.燬o if your family can tolerate it, vent at home instead.?It’ll make you feel better even if it does nothing to help your situation.?It may be tempting to complain about your boss at work, especially if coworkers are talking about the same problems.?But resist that temptation! If your boss finds out that you are complaining about him, he’ll have a legitimate reason to take appropriate action against you and make your life under him worse than it already is.? Continue to work hard.?Regardless of how your boss treats you, it’s in your best self-interest to continue doing your job to the best of your ability. Stay focused and think about how your efforts are helping the company as a whole.?If you do a good job, you may get noticed by your boss’s colleagues or even his superiors.?Maybe a better opportunity will arise. Try to improve your relationship.?If your boss is a complete butthead, this may be impossible no matter what you do. But if he’s only a partial butthead, perhaps it would be worth your time to try to make the situation better. After all, this person may have control over your advancement up the career ladder. And while quitting may seem to be the easiest thing to do, searching for another job, having to explain why you left your last one, and struggling to get a decent reference from an ex-butthead-boss may make leaving a difficult option for you. Instead, swallow your pride and try to understand your boss’s management style and personality and adapt yourself to that. For instance, if he’s a micromanager, give him constant updates and details on what you’re doing (even if you think it’s a waste of your time and he should just trust you to do your job). Effective communication is very important, and it works both ways. If your boss is unclear in telling you?what he wants, ask questions until you know exactly what’s expected. During performance evaluations or one-on-one discussions, ask him what you can do to meet his expectations. Go over your boss’s head.?This is rarely a good idea. But if you’ve tried everything else, and you feel that your boss is making serious mistakes that affect the company (and not just you), consider talking to his superior. If you take this route, be prepared with specific examples and proof, not just accusations. And realize that this tactic may backfire on you (especially if your boss’s boss is also a butthead). Leave.?This may be a difficult decision for you, especially if you like your work,燽enefits, coworkers and company.?But you爉ust also consider your sanity (and that of your family to whom you vent). Carefully weigh the alternatives and if you decide that leaving is your best option, do it right. Don’t yell “I quit!” during a heated argument. Plan ahead–update your resume, start consulting with your network, look for another job.?Your goal, if possible, is to have another job lined up before you tell your boss you’re leaving. And even then, resist the temptation to tell him off.?Try to leave on the best terms possible and don’t burn your bridges. You never know when and where that butthead boss might show up in your future! ?/P> Bonnie Lowe is author of the popular Job Interview Success System and free information-packed ezine, “Career-Life Times.” Find those and other powerful career-building resources and tips at her website: http://www.best-interview-strategies.com.
Article Category : Others 1.Do I have the persistence and patience necessary to be a business owner? It would be nice if once you wrote your business plan all you needed to do would be to execute flawlessly and everything would fall into place. Maybe it happens to a few businesses but usually in some part of the plan you get different results than you expected. It takes patience to wait for the result in the first place. It takes persistence to keep updating your plan and then trying something else until you find how to make it work. 2.Does this business idea really energize me? Am I really excited about it? If your vision of this business is really compelling it will give you the energy to move forward on your idea. The energy allows you to persist even when things are not going as planned and it helps you to generate enthusiasm in others. 3.Can I generate enthusiasm about my idea from others? New business owners have to spend most of their time marketing initially. If the business owner him/herself can get others excited about his/her business idea, then that is the first step in generating interest from a customer/client or a strategic partner. The owner must be able to articulate the idea in a way that is convincing to the customer or client. 4.Am I convinced that I am exactly the right person to own this business? Can I articulate why? Self-confidence is important in the success of the business. You must believe in yourself before others will believe in you. 5.Do I have the commitment necessary to put aside other interests to focus my energy on this business? There will be lots of distractions while you start your business. Are you willing to commit to whatever it takes to get the business up and running successfully? 6.Am I able to quickly recover from setbacks and not take things personally? Can you still keep working and feeling confident even on a day that a big client or big prospect decides against using your service or buying your product? 7.Who will support me in this endeavor? It helps to have people in your life that appreciate you and really want you to succeed. Family support is critical because you’ll need to spend large amounts of time working and your family needs to understand this. Mentors, colleagues and coaches also are important for advice and encouragement. 8.Do I have enough financial reserves to carry me until I am profitable? Your business needs enough capital to get going until it is profitable. You also need money in reserve for your personal expenses if things get tight. Worrying about money will sap your energy. 9.What weaknesses do I have that may get in my way as I start this business? What will I do about them? Identifying your weaknesses and strengths is an important task. Use your strengths in running your business and find ways to off load the tasks you are not good at. Shore up those weaknesses as best you can in the beginning when finances are tight. Being aware of them is the first step. 10.What is my intuition telling me about this venture? Be in tune with your intuition. Business people get caught up in the analytical part of the business. The numbers are very important in running your business but don’t ignore what your gut tells you. Leave some time in your day to spend time thinking about your vision. (Daydreaming!) About Alvah Parker Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as publisher of Parker’s Points, an email tip list and Road to Success, an ezine. Her clients are attorneys, business owners, sole practioners, and people in transition. She is also a Practice Advisor for attorneys. She coaches lawyers to create thriving businesses. Alvah is found on the web at http://www.asparker.com.
Article Category : Others You may have read one of my previous articles on career transitioning which described how to create complementary careers for yourself. This article will introduce you to three people I call Fearless Flyers because they have taken the leap of faith that many of us would only dream of considering.Fearless Flyer #1 worked for a big gym equipment manufacturer. In fact, she was a regional sales manager for them, doing quite well with sales, I might add. As she visited various gyms, she observed people using the facilities. She realized that people were staying inside buildings working towards their health rather than being outside and getting the extra benefits to their well-being from what the outdoors had to offer. She wanted to be outside in nature. She believed that others would, too. She left her sales management position to start her own business. She invited people to go into the natural settings in their own backyards so to speak, kayaking, doing gentle nature walks, and tai chi. She added natural products like unbleached cotton undies and socks. Today, she has a website, booths at street fairs, and buyers for her products and her vision. Fearless Flyer #2 is a registered nurse. She has been one for more than twenty years. After some traumatic experiences, she began to paint to help get through them. She enjoyed it so much that she’s decided to pursue a major in art. Recently, she applied to a local college to pursue a degree in art and has reduced her hours per week as a nurse. Her works have been in some art exhibits and she has accepted an advisory board position for an organization benefiting healthcare professionals who use the arts for health maintenance of themselves and others. Fearless Flyer #3 worked as an engineer for several large companies in the United States. He always loved living around water, boating, fishing, and scuba diving. Two years ago, he decided to get his captain’s license so he could do charters. He also started writing a fishing report for a local on-line newsletter. A year ago, he added working for a tow and rescue company on the weekends part-time. Four months ago, he retired from his engineer position and took on his own territory with the tow and rescue company. He has cut back on his charters but has quite a following of his fishing report. These are just a few of the people I know who have made or are in the process of career transitioning. Think of how many more are out there. You can be a Fearless Flyer, too. It just takes an idea, some creativity, and a bit of courage. Copyright 2005 Kathy Iwanowski. All Rights Reserved. Kathy Iwanowski, a former cancer nurse and manager, creates art, speaks, and writes about creative living and work. Her articles, editorials, and reviews on art, business, creativity, and nursing subjects have been published in newsletters, ezines, and books in the United States. To arrange for Kathy as a speaker for your next event or to find out more about her work, visit her website at http://www.kathyiwanowski.com
Article Category : Others The temptation to lie on a resume is great! How can it hurt if I stretch the truth a bit? Employers see lots of resumes. How are they going to know who lies and who doesn’t?Whoa! Let’s stop a minute and reflect on what lies can REALLY do on a resume. 1. Lying and stretching the truth may come out anyway. You, job seeker, might exaggerate to the wrong people and get caught LYING! 2. Are you so unsure of yourself that you have to LIE to get a job? Poor you! 3. MANY, if not all employers who find out the truth behind a lie will dismiss you on the spot. 4. Why lie? If your accomplishments and skills seem below par, better to tell that to an interviewer than to be seen as a LIAR! Finally, a lie makes you feel guilty, Ethically, you, job seeker, need all of the positive parts of yourself to get a new job. Omit lies to yourself and get onto finding a good job without falsifying anything. Lying on a resume deserves the file 13 we all know about. Keep your head up high and know yourself as a truth teller, not the liar who falls from grace eventually, especially on a job. Your mom was right, don’t LIE! Go to: Ezinearticles.com to read my Marilyn J. Tellez, M.A.
Article Category : Others Finding the right employee for any job opening can be a challenge to say the least, and this is no truer than in the insurance industry. With considerations ranging from experience and education to their personal skills, the decisions faced by recruiters and employers can be of critical importance.When hiring employees for insurance industry jobs it is important to take many factors into account. Summarized, these factors include: 1. Education & Certification Education & Certification A certificate from the “University of Phoenix Online” is worth significantly less than the same certificate from an accredited educational institution but unless you look into the credentials you may be tempted to consider them all equal. While education cannot be considered the end-all-be-all of hiring any qualified candidate, a solid education from an accredited institution reflects more than a knowledge of the industry ? it also reflects the job applicant’s ability to write and present ideas clearly and also to stick with something they have started. And isn’t that a key feature in a candidate, whether the education is necessary in their job function or not? Experience The value of experience in the insurance industry comes primarily from the reduced training that will be necessary to get the employee functioning. Knowing how to perform a specific function, especially a complex function such as risk management or loss control, can save a company countless dollars in training. The downside in experience that must be considered is that an employee may not fully understand the processes and procedures unique to your insurance company. No two companies perform all their tasks the same way and an employee who has performed a specific role for one company may assume (incorrectly) that you do or should do it the same way. This can lead to bottlenecks and sometimes even conflict. An additional drawback to experience that must be addressed when filling insurance jobs is the knowledge that the prospective employee has worked in insurance industry jobs and has chosen to leave an employer. The last thing you want is to fill one of your vacant jobs with an employee who has a history of leaving related positions. Both of these drawbacks can be addressed with a few simple questions of the employee and to past employers. Personal Skills Although the primary objective in any businesses is to insure profitability, developing an enjoyable work environment in which the various parties can communicate leads to new ideas, higher productivity due to a willingness of all employees to work together, and perhaps most importantly ? a lower employee turnover rate. For some insurance jobs, personal skills are more important than others however for every position they should be considered. You may even want to consider having the current staff who will be working closely with the new employee meet during the interview process and provide feedback. If your staff work well together their productivity will naturally increase. Conclusion Credits InsuranceWorkForce.com is an established, nationally recognized insurance and financial services ‘You-Post-It’ job site. If you’re looking to fill insurance jobs or are seeking employment in the insurance industry visit InsuranceWorkForce.com. A virtual one stop employment site, linking employers and recruiters with qualified job seekers having the experience, skills and specialized training necessary to get the job done! Employers and recruiters, submit your insurance jobs here.
Article Category : Others A career transition is no longer about getting your hands on a list of contacts, networking with headhunters, or going online to look for work. It’s better than that.Want to neutralize most of your rivalry? Hot-swap the traditional means of securing a job with these new tactics and you’ll warp-speed your search: ? Stop looking for a job ? Increase your visibility ? Decrease your competition ? Create buzz and you’ll multiply your exposure to decision makers ? Create need and you’ll generate quality interviews, simultaneously ? Create solutions and you’ll gain an opportunity to design your own position Stir up the buzz and you’ll stand out in a saturated market. Develop a reputation for being a subject-matter expert. This time you’ll want to be the topic of the next water cooler gathering. Make sure that you use your full name when identifying yourself on any of these venues, not a pseudonym. You can’t stir up the buzz about you, if you’re hidden behind some funky moniker. Don’t forget to create an email address that sounds professional wherever your name publicly appears. There are eight over-the-top ports to gain higher visibility: ? Chamber of Commerce (networking events and / or committee participation) ? Local trade associations (meetings and / or committee participation) ? Blogs (industry trade associations, online publications, job boards) ? Teleseminars (trade association-sponsored, industry-oriented) ? High-profile volunteerism (civic, community, business projects) ? Broadcasting (radio and television guest appearances) ? Ask-an-Expert content venues (online and print) ? Newsletters, white papers (online and print) Get employers drooling for your talents by demonstrating a consistency in your marketing message. Recruiters and decision makers routinely perform a Google? or Yahoo? key word search to learn more about you. Put your name (and its variations) into these mega-search engines to find out what pops up. If you’ve made disparaging comments about anyone or anything, either on or off record, these will harm your marketing message. For the sake of your professional branding, publicly, shut up. If what you want to say or do communicate oddity, inappropriateness, or lack of civility and good taste then you become a liability to your industry’s culture and you’ll be blacklisted. Branding is a yardstick that measures not just what you do, but who you are and the perception others have of you. Make sure that whatever you say or do (professionally and personally) sends a consistent positive message about your leadership, industry competency, ethics, maturity, and interpersonal relations. This constancy is your branding; an awareness of you which captures an employer’s attention and interest in you. Mastermind solutions and you’ll improve the odds of a securing a customized job role. Borderless thinking solves problems, particularly those deemed by others as too troublesome or impossible. You’ll release yourself from dependency on open or publicly-known positions when you pitch personalized remedies for an employer’s toughest business challenges. Annihilate your competition by doing the thing that they wouldn’t dare to do?stop looking for a job. Concentrate on subterranean research to uncover ’spot opportunities’ - patterns that would signal upcoming hiring activity. Yeah, it’s labor-intensive, but the pay-off is huge in terms of edging past Human Resource department screeners. Classic market research involves S.W.O.T. Analysis. Successful marketing thrusts are achieved using a thorough analysis of Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats for Growth. Can you count the times on one hand, your buddies took the time to do this kind of extreme exploration when they were on a job hunting expedition? The more you know about a targeted company, its industry, and the associated threats to its success, the stronger your posture. Instead of seeking a job, pursue opportunity to use your talents to better an organization’s own branding before its employees, customers, and business relationships. Pitch directly to first-string decision makers. Slamming a baseball out of the park isn’t rocket science; it’s about reading and reacting to the pitch - knowing what you have to do, and when to do it. It’s also capitalizing on the bat’s sweet spot to connect the raw capability of the bat to the sheer force of the batter’s swing. A professionally-run job search does the same things; you pitch your solutions to the right target, at the right time, using the right resource and strategy. The career marketing sweet spot is that critical moment where targeting and timing intersect. Goal sighted, energy harnessed, successful outcome achieved. Marta Driesslein, CECC (http://interviewing.com/) is a management consultant for R.L. Stevens & Associates Inc. For over 24 years R.L. Stevens & Associates has been the Nation’s most successful privately-held firm specializing in executive career searches generating quality interviews through both advertised and unadvertised channels.
Article Category : Others Deciding on a resume format is the first major decision to be made when creating your resume. The overall look of your resume depends on the resume format, font and outline you choose.The two main types of format in use are the chronological and functional formats. When to Use the Chronological Resume Format A Chronological resume is the easiest to create and it is also the most widely used format. Chronological resume format allows you to list your job experiences starting with the most recent and moving back in time. This allows employers to see your progression in the career field If you are staying in your career field, this format will allow employers to see if you are qualified for the job you are applying for. It may not be beneficial for people changing career fields. When to Use the Functional Resume Format Functional resume formats are more difficult to create and are not widely used. However, they are suitable in situations where people are changing career fields. The functional resume format is based more on skill development. The format is non-linear and the emphasis is on development and achievements. You can list experiences other than paid jobs. Employers will be able to see your progressive skill developments that qualify you for the job Some people choose to combine the two resume formats to gain the benefits of each and avoid their shortcomings. Scannable Resume Format Another type of resume format you may have to use is the scannable resume. Many employers store resumes in electronic databases nowadays. Resumes are scanned into these databases. This can lead to some problems, as old scanners can sometimes dramatically change the look of your resume. It is beneficial to build both a scannable resume and a printed resume which you can bring to your interviews To overcome this you can create a scannable resume. A scannable resume is a traditional resume, stored preferably as a plain text file and with little formatting. How Long Should a Resume Be? Another important decision you have to make about your resume format is the length of your resume. There are no specific rules on how long your resume should be. Resume length can vary depending on your situation. The length of your resume will depend on how much space you need to compactly and precisely list your relevant skills and accomplishments. If you an entry-level candidate, you can have a one page, neatly typed, compact resume. For professionals with a lot of experience, a two or three page resume can greatly impress employers. Choice of Fonts Keep the font of your resume simple. Classic fonts such as Times New Roman and Arial are recognized by nearly all computers. If you use other font styles, there will be a risk that the employer??s computer does not support the particular font. Also if it is too fancy, it might turn off the employer. Remember that … The most important information will be listed on the top of the resume as it is the first to catch the employer??s eye. In the middle is the part which will get briefly scanned. The bottom part of the resume will not get much attention, unless you get the interview. Your resume structure should take this into account. If you are having trouble deciding on a resume format, you can consult free resume format sites on the internet. They can provide you with samples so that you can pick out a format that is best for your situation. Resume format, font, length, etc, collectively will form the overall presentation of the document. The purpose of your resume is to market your services to employers. Resume format and resume style can tell the employer a lot about your communication and organization skills. Therefore the format is very important in preparing a proper presentation of your resume. Article courtesy of Top Career Resumes, where you can get the answers you need about writing winning resumes, cover letters and more. The author, Roger Clark (BSc) has over 25 years experience in career development & recruitment at a senior level through top management positions he has held with major international companies. Career Articles - Advice on resumes, career planning, goal / objective setting & aptitude testing.
Article Category : Others Difficult Relationships at Work - How to Influence the Uncooperative We rely on and spend more time with our colleagues than with most other people in our lives: yet we frequently experience conflict at work. This is a problem that is beginning to be recognised, but it is still not being dealt with either effectively or sufficiently. Conflict is such a broad term for what can be experienced, ranging from office gossip to outright bullying. In nearly every single office there are always going to be personality clashes at some point, and most of the time they will be fairly easily sorted out. However, sometimes they aren’t and there is often no other option than to resign. The real problem underlying this situation is that people really don’t have the skills to deal with these kinds of situations. They frequently accept the problem when it is happening and then get really upset afterwards. The Five Strategies for Dealing with Conflict 1. Avoidance This is the most frequently used strategy along with accommodation. Here conflict is avoided and when it does appear the person using this strategy refuses to engage in the situation. Example: Someone making a sly comment and the person it was aimed at simply walking away. While this obviously is not a good way of dealing with conflict the majority of the time as it tends not to help, it is worth being considered as a strategy for when the conflict is just not worth the effort of being addressed. 2. Accommodation Here you take the conflict and submit. Example: Listening to unhelpful criticism and believing it. Again, very frequently used especially where there is low confidence and self-esteem. This is another not very successful method of dealing with conflict, but it will do if you know that there is a solution coming soon. 3. Compete This one means that you play the person at his or her own game and work hard to get your own way in the conflict. Example: Someone starts spreading rumours about you, so you do the same in return in an attempt to discredit the power of the other person’s word. This can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. Be very sure you want to use this strategy as lowering yourself to someone else’s level rarely shows you in the best light. 4. Compromise A much more useful tactic to use: here you don’t give in to the conflict, but work out a solution somewhere between the two sides. Example: Someone delegates a huge amount of work to your already over-filled plate, you respond by taking on some of it, and then recommending that this person parcel out the rest to other people. This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behaviour we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance. 5. Collaborate The most useful tactic, particularly with extremes of conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution. Example 1: You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project. You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise. Example 2: Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person using the strategies below and collaborate on modifying their behaviour. Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. The most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear. To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines. - You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility. - Remember that we frequently don’t like in others what we don’t want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future. - Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate. - Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don’t fiddle with something nervously, don’t cross your arms protectively, and don’t put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair). - Don’t believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy. - Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires. - If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don’t ask the questions with ‘why’ at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive. Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved. A Final Word on Bullying Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, conducted an online survey of 1,000 people who claimed to have been bullied at work, finding that 37% were eventually fired, and 33% quit their jobs. In a reversal of the typical childhood bullying scenario, in which unpopular and apparently weak kids are picked on most, adult victims in the workplace tend to be very capable and charismatic people. The bully sees them as a threat, and determines to get them out of the picture. Most workplace bullies are thought to be women — 58% according to those Namie surveyed — and so are their targets — 80% of those surveyed. The estimated figure is that half the adult population will experience severe conflict at work at least once in their working life. That is a scary statistic - and the majority of people don’t expect conflict and don’t know how to deal with it when it intrudes. Bullying conjures up images of schools and young children, but it is growing trend in the workplace, which is rarely tackled openly even if you are lucky enough to have policies to deal with this issue. There are legal options to take should the strategies above not resolve the conflict. Don’t ever just put up with bullying, seek help and advice. To learn more about bullying and what you can do about it, I recommend visiting www.bullyonline.org - it has a lot of good information and further resources. Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at http://www.lifeisvital.com or email charlotte@lifeisvital.com to request your complimentary consultation.
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